Negativity is something I’ve always struggled with, and I’ve come to find it’s one of the biggest things to hold me back in life. It’s also the root to many issues.
Such as self consciousness, from speaking so negativity about myself to myself. Lack of confidence, I’ve always aimed low because I told myself I wasn’t capable of anything great. Ungratefulness, by being unsatisfied with where I am in life and what I have.
Let’s start with one of the big ones. Ungratefulness… I’ll be honest with you all, ungratefulness is something I struggle with when things aren’t going my way. I tend to pile all my eggs into one basket and feel stressed out and ungrateful when certain circumstances present themselves. But it’s a new year, and I’m determined to change my out look on life. It’s never too late to start being more grateful.
So try this with me this year:
Whenever you’re stressed out with your kids, and you catch yourself saying “They’re driving me crazy!” Stop. And remind yourself what an amazing blessing it is to have them.
Whenever they ask for a snack for the millionth time, instead of being exasperated. Stop. And be thankful that you have food to feed their growing bodies.
When they ask the same question for the millionth time… Be grateful that they care so much to hear what you have to say. Because someday, they may not.
I’m not saying these things to make you feel like a bad parent, trust me. These are things I struggle with constantly.
I get frustrated and ungrateful for more than just my kids… My house for instance. When it doesn’t stay clean, or because it is dark and old, or not being able to afford all the things I want for it. The list goes on… But lately I’ve been stopping myself. This house was literally an answered prayer. We weren’t even supposed to get this house. It would have been impossible for us to even get this house without God’s hand in it.
And while some aspects of it may be frustrating, it’s a safe, beautiful place for our babies to run, learn, and grow. It has an amazing backyard where they can play and imagine all sorts of things.
I can become ungrateful when I don’t have spending money to buy things I don’t necessarily need. And admitting that to whoever decides to read this is really hard. But if your bills are paid, your cupboards and fridge are stocked, and your kids are clothed. What more do you need?
And I know it’s hard to get out of the ungrateful rut, trust me. I’m not even fully out of it, I have days where I climb back into it and complain to myself all day long about certain things. But keep in mind, you’re rewiring your brain. You have to teach it a new way of thinking, and going from a pessimist to an optimist doesn’t happen overnight. But you definitely can change it.
I honestly feel like gratefulness goes in hand with being an optimist. Being ungrateful goes deeper than just… Being ungrateful. It’s being negative.
I used to say I was a realist, and in many ways I suppose I still am. But I realized that being a realist was just a nicer way to say I am a pessimist. Optimism feels so much better. And I’m not talking about being unrealistically optomostic. But I’ve been limiting myself for so long with being negative, ungrateful, and a pessimist.
I stunted myself from reaching my dreams for years, because I was so pessimistic. I told myself I’d never be able to reach certain aspirations. I never even set goals, because I told myself I didn’t have the ability to accomplish them. I didn’t think I was good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, outgoing enough, unique enough… And so on and so forth. The most negative person in my life has been myself. But I’m changing that. Starting now.
I’m learning to pay myself compliments, which in turn builds self confidence. I’m learning to calm down when I’m stressed with my kids and thank God for them and that they’re healthy and safe, which dissolves my frustrations pretty quickly.
I’m learning to be grateful for where I’ve been placed in life. Grateful for the things given to me secondhand that I’ve taken for granted. I’m even learning to be grateful for my past, and for every struggle that I’ve gone through.
I’m learning positivity, and it’s hard. You have to retrain your brain.
Thankfully I have my husband to help keep me accountable. He gently will point out when I’m being negative, and honestly it’s helpful. It helps me to look for the silver lining in whatever situation is currently bringing me down.
I don’t have it all figured out, but I’ve already been seeing the benefits of being more positive show in my life.
I’ve gained more confidence from it, more joy, more happiness, more peace, more patience, to name a few. And I’ve only just begun. I can’t wait to transform my life, and live up to my full potential. To achieve goals I set for myself. To be excited for what God sets before me. Changing your mindset will change your life.
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